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Don't take your man to the mall © PETER ANDERSSON A MUSIC PARODY BASED ON: "WATERFALLS" BY: TLC BONUS QUOTE: "A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it." BOB HOPE |
but then again so would the original song. A saddened husband's gazing out of a side door Thinking of the show that he now can't watch It is payday time, his wallet's crammed, she is by his side And she doesn't realize she bleeds him that much But all he's paying for ain't needed at all Cos she can't seem to keep her hands off plain rubbish So she takes off and she spends his money the one way she knows how He sees her body and he knows her heart flutters Listen to me! Don't take your man to the mall Leave him with the toaster and the paper he's used to He knows that you're gonna buy in wholesales, not "nothing at all" And he hates when credit's surpassed His capricious has a natural obsession With privation and she just can't see She sticks him packets that his two arms can't handle And all she will say is "baby it's on sale, see!" One day he'll flip and take a smash at the mirrors If he'll come to recognize his disgrace His wealth is fading and he surely knows why His debts will take him to his final resting place You all now hear me! Don't take your man to the mall Let him take the Volvo or the carpool he's used to He knows that you're gonna buy in wholesales, not "nothing at all" And he hates when posh folks go past Calm down! She bought a snow plow down in may Then too many bubble gums Leaving no trace left of his once-monthly pay Is it because his wife has ten cells of grey I pray all ten fade away Seldom does she miss the latest craze No wonder his face is blue Only next fad can undo The many flounces she bought I say that guy needs a brew He's screwed lest she takes my advice Having dried the tears from my eyes No more phony buys! His only bleeding hope is to stop being a dope She'll shop him to his bane When instead of milk she pours champagne She's to blame He once had sane financial gain What a shame He could support his own large retail chain But she shops insane Is that her place in time To pay out his last dime I say this sister got him victim, oughta be confined Broads are lost with limitations With hopes of spending through Restrain yourself or the repo man will come for you Don't take your man to the mall Leave him with the lawn mower the way that he's used to He knows that you're gonna buy in wholesales, not "nothing at all" And he'll be by salesmen harassed Don't take your man to the mall Leave him at the telly with the beers that he's used to He knows that you're gonna buy in wholesales, not "nothing at all" And he'll surely not have a blast © Peter Andersson 2007 |
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