Frodo © PETER ANDERSSON A MUSIC PARODY BASED ON: "BIMBO" BY: LAMBRETTA BONUS QUOTE: "Writing a letter to your loved one when you're apart is like drawing a picture of a sandwich when you're hungry." CARL-GUSTAF LINDSTEDT		OK, so the whole saga is fantasy, but what is the single most unrealistic part in Lord of the Rings: Talking/Walking trees? The Orc/Goblin procreation fest that resulted in the Uruk-Hai? Gandalf smoking weeds for hundreds of years without turning into a junkie? The Balrog living on Habanero Peppers at the bottom of an old mine? Well, those are all candidates for sure but I’ll advocate the non-reactions of Rose Cotton (girlfriend of Sam Gamgee). One morning she woke up to find that her boyfriend has just simply taken off into the woods with best buddy Frodo, and though she got no word, no message or even a postcard for more than a year she still did marry him when he got back – NO questions asked!!! Now, thanks to modern age eavesdropping/parody technology, I can present you with a much more plausible reaction, as it would be bitched out loudly to her female friends when they’d gather to hear about what happened. Who’s that Halfling staffing up with Gandalf? Tell me, I really gotta know! Since when did the Shire need a portend? Since when, I really gotta know! I really gotta know! He’s been faking the whole thing A fellowship includes no ring Who’s he, tell me! Now he’s sleeping next to Sam Oh God I fear that it’s a scam I need to know! Who’s that Frodo? Who’s that limping loony with the lembas bread? Who’s that, I really wanna know! Did moans or my body send him headfirst! What did, this girl has got to know! This girl has got to know! Now he’s tied my man a string A fellowship includes no ring Who’s he, tell me? Now he’s sleeping by my man Oh God the shit has hit the fan! I need to know, who’s that hobo? I’m hoping that... stupid klutz been lead astray Man, I’ll be getting less mad I think I’m fat, maybe Sam is turning gay? I’m hoping that... stupid klutz been lead astray Man, I’ll be getting less mad I think I’m fat, maybe Sam is turning gay? He’s been bragging ’bout his sting A fellowship includes no ring! Who’s he, tell me? Are they sleeping back to back? Oh God I fear that he’s a mack! I need to know! He’s been sized up by a king A fellowship includes no ring Who’s he, tell me? Now they’re sleeping in a cave Oh God I want the truth, I crave! I have to know! I do! Now he’s sleeping next to Sam And God I fear that it’s a scam I need to know! Who’s that Frodo? © Peter Andersson 2006
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