(Stuck with IKEA on) Mars
© PETER ANDERSSON

A MUSIC PARODY
BASED ON:
"ROAR"
BY: KATY PERRY



BONUS QUOTE:
"Every corpse on Mount Everest was once an extremely motivated person."
UNKNOWN
 
Help! I'm stuck on Mars! It all started when IKEA announced earlier this year that they were working with NASA to create foldable offworld furniture (that's like spaced out) and that their HQ (only a few hours drive away from where I live) rocket scientists needed a lab monkey.
The original song and a video for it can be heard/seen HERE.

I've travelled light, my young I left for cash
Had to make my mind up in a flash
So I went quickly
Now I feel prickly

A NASA space cadet with Swedish voice
I let them send me off for PR ploys
Brought close to nothing
Now I need everything

They brought me down, for Mars I'm up
Here sitting on a box for stub
I have no choice, I have not found
A way to cut a stamping ground
I'll settle down, I'll be unschmucked
If only I could raise the ruck
IKEA hauled, IKEA mowed

I have these boxes packed tighter than fiber, handed to me lightly
But I've the wrong toolbox, for furnishing here on Mars
Power - Powerless I'm stuck in
And I've the wrong manuals, uploaded to here on Mars
no-no-no-no-no-no-no
no-no-no-no-no-no-no
no-no-no-no-no-no-no
Unbolting here on Mars

Now I need a manual override
Hammering a crate is rectified
Bill me dineros
F*cks I give zero

They sent me here, they messed it up
I can't even get the meatball grub
I have no tools, I'm just the one
I wrestle boxes one-on-one
I want my couch, my stapled chairs
Unpacked against a red foursquare
IKEA wall, IKEA whoa

I have no sonic screwdriver adviser granting me survival
Cos I'm just a doofus, that Sweden shipped off to Mars
Grounded - Under the Orion
With IKEA manuals that do me no good on Mars

no-no-no-no-no-no-no
no-no-no-no-no-no-no
no-no-no-no-no-no-no
Unbolting here on Mars
no-no-no-no-no-no-no
no-no-no-no-no-no-no
no-no-no-no-no-no-no
Furnishing here on Mars

I sit with boxes designed to pack lighter, landing gear required
And somewhere a package, with porta-potties for Mars
Dumber - Dumber than a minion
Cos I've just the package, for sitting here on my arse

no-no-no-no-no-no-no
no-no-no-no-no-no-no
no-no-no-no-no-no-no
Unbolting here on Mars
no-no-no-no-no-no-no
no-no-no-no-no-no-no
no-no-no-no-no-no-no
Furnishing here on Mars



© Peter Andersson 2017

   

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