Chafe and diarrhea © PETER ANDERSSON A MUSIC PARODY BASED ON: "CHASING EUPHORIA" BY: KIMBALL & JAMISON BONUS QUOTE: "I got excited when my son joined the cross-country team, but then I learned they don't cross the country and are back home in a few hours." KENT GRAHAM		The Western States 100-Mile Endurance Run is the Super Bowl of Ultra Running, starting in Squaw Valley near the site of the 1960 Winter Olympics and ending in Auburn, California (for the winner, nowadays, after about 15 hours of running). It's not televised, but sites like www.irunfar.com usually provides a link to a Twitter feed where one can keep up with the unfolding drama. Anyway, that said, I'm posting a parody about the perils of running here. You're not really a full-fledged runner until you've done #2 behind a fir tree in the forest (or a park, or a back alley, or one of your neighbours' garden sheds) and you're not a real pop/rock song parodist until you've posted at least one set of lyrics in really, really, really bad taste. BTW - You're welcome! The original song and a video for it can be heard/seen HERE. Now I will fade towards last The leaders ran off too fast My race is squat in a hole I'd rather be shitting bricks I need a quick knickers fix I'm forced to let the stomach blow Twentyone miles on burritos I plop down and swipe the bib midway Chased by diarrhea Chased by diarrhea I'll never curb it Might run there and blurb it Chased by diarrhea Chased by... Chased by diarrhea I know for jog amateurs Crazy shit will occur I should pre-purify with plungers I squeeze my glutes, I suppress That adds some chafe to the mess As miles go by I get dumber Hurt inside, steps like a dancer Breaks the chase pack with a fart Chased by diarrhea Chased by diarrhea Came here to compete Now most get off main street Chased by diarrhea Chafe and diarrhea Chafe and diarrhea There's blood in my soles And I'm fudging my goals Chafe and diarrhea Chafe an'... Chafe an'... Chafe an'... Chafe an'... Chafe and diarrhea A mess - Is running down my calfes A flop - Is this accursed race A hamper - Is coming from behind A booth - Is what I've long beseeched I kneeled - My dignity was blurred I caved - Behind a garden hutch I graced - A shrubbery with grass I won't - Be going home with much Chased by diarrhea Chased by diarrhea I was an athlete Now I'm on a back street Chased by diarrhea Chafe and diarrhea Chafe and diarrhea There's goo on my legs And my shoes' full of dregs Chafe and diarrhea Chafe an'... Chafe an'... Chafe an'... Diarrhea Chafe and diarrhea I started shortlisted But nature'd me fisted Chafe and diarrhea Chafe and diarrhea Chafe and diarrhea My butt cheeks will flap As my race turns to crap Chafe and diarrhea Chafe an'... Chafe an'... Chafe an'... Chafe an'... © Peter Andersson 2016
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