Covid's a dodgeball sport © PETER ANDERSSON A MUSIC PARODY BASED ON: "LOVE IS A CONTACT SPORT" BY: WHITNEY HOUSTON BONUS QUOTE: "Be careful about reading health books, you may die of a misprint." MARK TWAIN		You might be right if you think Dodgeball is too weak a metaphor for the Covid situation - but my other idea was Chicken Race on a Mountain Ridge - and that fell flat. The original song can be heard HERE. Covid! Dodgeball! We try avoiding it Like a kid dodging household jobs And man, I'm glad my wife Is an expert on polished knobs Wuhan released Covid And that flu's gonna put us in graves This is more than Netflix-chill on the couch You'd better hole up in a cave It's all so vexing You can't fight it, even sight it When you're fetching Ammo and TP Covid's a dodgeball sport You gotta stay inside If you don't they say you'll die So just scram! Covid's a dodgeball sport You gotta hide away If you want another day An' wash your hands! Damn! It's time to be regressive Have your swingers party friends removed Dogs stay in quarantines 'Til the government finds a cure (SPOKEN, FROM SIX FEET APART): -What if they don't find a cure? -You'll need stay a few years therein! -Damn, that is way too long! -I know, it feels like a loony bin! With minor coughing Pitter-patter turns to scatter We're all scoffing -Dude, get quarantined! Covid's a dodgeball sport Behind a mask you'd hide Pray you get one 'fore yuletide Or just scram! Covid's a dodgeball sport You see a bat, you spray If you can't, just run away Then wash hands! Damn! (SHOUTED, FROM SIXTY FEET AWAY): -Ahoy! -Man, don't you dare come over! -Boy, we don't need your sad sack! -Jam-packed in here! With kids and in-laws You can't shank them, maybe tranq them Without just cause You're not breaking free Dodgeball! Covid's a dodgeball sport Your house is true and tried Better than the other side So just scram! Covid's a dodgeball sport For human Groundhog Day Turn around and hit the hay But wash your hands! Repeat Chorus Ad Mortem © Peter Andersson 2020
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