Crossfit zombie © PETER ANDERSSON A MUSIC PARODY BASED ON: "SELL OUT" BY: REEL BIG FISH BONUS QUOTE: "I finally have the body I want after a rigorous six month training program of lowering my expectations." UNKNOWN		Crossfit is the most injury-prone workout activity known to mankind, yet for some reason still tremendously popular. In that sense signing up for Crossfit is pretty much like way too optimistic artists signing their first record company contract (the theme of the original song). -Well, I know you can't just bike and run all your life -But don't head down there tonight, she said -You'll just gain weight And I didn't argue with my bae But I had a year prepaid I'd signed up to get fitter Knew haters gonna hate on it for sure I had to go to the Crossfit Gym I had to lift my worth of money Stereo plays and instructors swears She's calling me a fool - I'd gotten addicted Work out, get crossfit yeah Work out, get ripped tonight From crossfit wondrously you will get a lot of muscles And everything on you look all swoll No more blackened toenails No more scrotum anti-chafe God knows that set me back before So I didn't heed the words she said I don't need rest days anyways I'd signed up to get bigger Though joggers norm'lly hate on that for sure I have to go to the Crossfit Gym There they will lift more of my money Varying reps and meniscus tears They play me like a fool - I've gotten addicted Work out, get crossfit yeah Work out, get ripped tonight From crossfit uppity you will think you're getting muscles And everything you big And I didn't know it would hurt this bad And I pray for a less sheepled fad And I'm not sure why we keep at this But the brainage shrinkage is what it is so-so-soo So I've signed up for more Crossfit foolery I'm hurting every day to make worth the moolah When I'm done I chug a couple of beers My inside stays cool, and I badly need that Work out, get tough as nails Work out, get long-term ails In gym halls pungency you will cross the kind of fitness 'Makes everything in your stomach turn *baaaaaaaarf* *blargh-blargh* *blargh-blargh* Some Crossfit people occupy ER beds tonight! -Baby, don't you head down there tonight, she says But I can't stay this scrawny all my life © Peter Andersson 2018
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