Daisy bats at gnats
© PETER ANDERSSON

A MUSIC PARODY
BASED ON:
"JANIE'S GOT A GUN"
BY: AEROSMITH



BONUS QUOTE:
"It takes a lot of courage for a man to admit his wife is wrong."
UNKNOWN
 
Warning! This parody contains twisted graphic content and may be upsetting to normal and/or abnormally sensitive people - though the usual visiting crowd are of course welcome to proceed reading/listening just to see how quick they can foretell the inevitable conclusion. (Also, this is only the second most violent parody ever from my pen, go look for the intended smash hit "I can take Jean-Claude van Damme" if you wanna read the worst).
The original song and a video for it can be heard/seen HERE.

Glum, glum, glum - Honey, what is the date?
Glum, glum, glum - I keep tabs on your state!
Glum, glum, glum - Tell me, have you lost weight?
Glum, glum, glum - You look... oh, wait...

Glum, glum, glum
Glum, glum, glum
Glum, glum, glum
Glum, glum, glum

Daisy's got a bat
Daisy bats at gnats
Our whole porch's been undone
The landlord's out cold and stunned
What did mosquitos do?
Why don't she them just shoo?
She knews the swamp near is infested
That sitting outside is in vain
But this I knew was coming
Little Daisy swings her bat
And goes hunting on for other game

Daisy bats at rats
Daisy bats them flat
A mousetrap get's it done
But my Daisy thinks that's no fun
Garden snakes stay eschew
Quackers she will persue
She goes from flipping little beach fleas
To berserk and our fauna's bane
I've seen the wasps she's taken under
The stick insects she's sundered
Know that some days she'll go up the chain

Run away, run away from her bat
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Run away, run away from the bat
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Run away, run away, run far away...

Daisy grabs her bat
Swoosh, there goes the cat
A dog dies in a splat
And everything near our habitat
Like me she's soft for ewe
Their white just gets black and blue
She'll make a roadkill cleaner queasy
And undertakers put to shame
Her acts of violence defaults her
From common sense to blur
She don't ever remember the slain

Run away, run away from her bat
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Run away, run away from the bat
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Run away, run away, run far away...

Daisy's killed aardvarks
Swam out after sharks
Smashed Jurassic Park
A Seal Team once her outgunned
Daisy had them stunned
Then PETA came repugn
But doubled back when she had them drummed
And if you have the crabs
Daisy'll have 'em bagged
Her ragtime is rather fab
If off you'll piss her you'll make the magz
Daisy doesn't dab
When she's on the rags



© Peter Andersson 2018

   

HOME PAGE