Did my Instagram get more likings than her Yelp review tonight?
© PETER ANDERSSON

A MUSIC PARODY
BASED ON:
"DOES YOUR CHEWING GUM
LOSE ITS FLAVOR ON THE
BEDPOST OVERNIGHT?"
BY: THE MUPPETS



BONUS QUOTE:
"My wife probably tells me that I never listen to her."
UNKNOWN
 
Is it just me, or has modern dating gotten more stressful than ever?
The original song and a video for it can be heard/seen HERE.

This girl I'd like to plow
I dine her to and fro
Her name's Ophelia
We met on Social Media
A friend I'm in her zone
I think I'm getting pwned
I sneak out to the rest room
For a heads-up on the blow

Did my Instagram get more likings?
Than her Yelp review tonight?
Did my Snapchat friends all caught it?
When she duckfaced me outright?
Should I Podcast us and waffle?
While we've Siri by our sides?
Was this Chick-fil-A to her liking?
Should I call an Uber ride?

But the date is moving on
To Ready Player One
An 80s movie
Nostalgia so groovy
She Tweets out discontent
Much like the President
Again I hit the rest room
And I'm feeling kinda spent

Did my Facebook status update?
Get ahead of things tonight?
Social Media's complicated!
I don't think I do it right!
Should I use WhatsApp and sext her?
While I Tinder on the side?
Oops! - I swiped right on her sister!
Guess I'll sleep alone tonight!

But there's always PornHub, right?



© Peter Andersson 2018

   

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