Easy ways
to fight the
(global) warming



"According to a new U.N report, the global warming outlook is much worse than originally predicted, which is pretty bad when they originally predicted it would destroy the planet."
It was twenty below zero (Celsius, not Farenheit) when I wrote the lion's share (or maybe that should be snow leopard's share) of this parody.
But its on a hot topic!

The winter gets shorter every year, they say to me
The temperature's rising if you watch it globally
I wanna cool them cos they're barking the wrong tree
There are such easy ways to fight the warming

They say the balance of the planet has been skewed
Furthermore, we need some greener fuels that all can be renewed
As they exhaust themselves I am stating rather crude
There are such easy ways to fight the warming

Easy ways to fight the warming

You just open the fridge, Midge
Stack up on snow, Moe
You can stop to exhale, Gale
That'll set my ears free

Chill out on the job, Bob
An' eat an ice cream, Jean
Instead of those beans, Dean
Your friends will thank me

Read more in the dark, Mark
That fat makes you sweat, Bret
Your wife's needing no toys, Royce
Hence no batteries

Hold back your farts, Art
An' dry hair in the wind, Mind'
Serve up more food raw, Ma
I'm sure you'll agree

They say the coming drought will make me long for rain
That it will be Hell an' arduous to make it cool again
I say that logic dictates that...
An' further I'll explain about the easy ways

They say I've lead for brains and proof nowhere in sight
And I retort - that's just hot air that you've got from Al Gore's site
And then they hiss me - and a wall of ice in eyes will come to light
That is one easy way to fight the warming

Easy ways to fight the warming

Just give up on the F, Jeff
Switch over to C, Dee
Then stay in the shade, Wade
That'll temper-rate thee

Relocate to Mars, Lars
Bring back the cold war, Thor
A penguin's a pet, Rhett
For lower degrees

Don't be so damn hot, Dott'
Stay home an' just chill, Phil
Hold back on the rave, Dave
Let's not disagree

Do manual flush, Gus
You don't need to diss sludge, Madge
You can fertilize shit, Mitt
Just take it from me

© Peter Andersson 2012