Free Falling (Gandalf and the Balrog) © PETER ANDERSSON A MUSIC PARODY BASED ON: "FREE FALLING" BY: TOM PETTY BONUS QUOTE: "I never know what I think about something until I read what I've written on it." WILLIAM FAULKNER		Somewhere inside the intellectual Bermuda Triangle of literature professors, HBT activists and, ahem, the worldwide parodist community, there's a popular belief that there's a subtext to Tolkien's "Lord of the Rings" where Frodo and Sam got it going on. Yeah right, who came up with that theory first, Michael Jackson? It should be obvious to more naked eyes than Sauron's all-seeing one that the only hidden/hinted queer relationship is the one between the hot Balrog and Gandalf! The Balrog may have been the one with the SM whip but when they met it was love at first sight and Gandalf went into serious dominatrix mode ("you cannot pass, I order you") during foreplay. Seconds later they were in free fall clinch and "wrestled" for hours, until the Balrog was banged to death! Poor thing, it was probably just looking for a good staff job... It's a Balrog, breeding in fire hoofed genus, and in Moria glows He's a wizard, fluent in Elvish Loves smokin' and them halflings too It's a long way travellin' to Mordor There's a shortcut runnin' through the mines Is he a bad boy, when he's bridging to cuss her? Is it a bad girl for gawkin' like kids? Now they're free, free fallin' Yeah they're free, free fallin' And a wizard livin' through such dally Turns white du-ring turnabout to score See, all the bad orcs are hiding in the shadows Aragorn hurls as relation takes start Now they're free, free fallin' Yeah they're free, free fallin' Hay rollin', when they're free fallin', yes, they're... Hay rollin', and it's appalling, yes queer... It's gonna snug up during the fall and He's gonna nibble its ear in the sky Got a stiff staff ready for lovin' Gonna (censored) its tail for a while As they're free, free fallin'... Repeat chorus ad nausea © Peter Andersson 2005
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