Gay Smurfs
(Rule 34)


BY: O.A.R.

"In the Smurf language rat poison is called "smurf", but so is strawberry lemonade. I guess what I'm trying to say is there used to be waaay more Smurfs."
Having recently learned about the existence of cartooned smurf fanfic erotica and also about the so called Rule 34 ("if it exists, there is porn of it") I initially assumed the smurf part would all somehow be centered around Smurfette. Not so! Fact check it at your own peril 'cos here's another song about cartoons on the blue side of the internet.

I surfed the deep web last night, and was quite overwhelmed
I fell off my effing seat, and got blue butt myself
I like the Smurfs, but that weren't right
Like sex with sheep, and Bronies grooming girls all night
Blue fanfics are crazy, but they're for free
That part's OK, rest is not my cup of tea

Gay Smurfs came at me, and filled the window
Gay Smurfs artistry, my jaw's on the floor

I'm online again tonight, though I feel it ain't right
I am pussywhipped for more, and that Catwoman's tight, sure is
Jess' Rabbit threadbare, she's really my kind
A tooned honey bear, that I wish that I could find
These fanfics are crazy, should let them be
I'll surf away, once this Baywatch toon I've seen

Gay Smurfs on the beach, with blue saddle sores
God, my eyes need bleach, to wipe the hardcore

But God, there is more!

Handy and Hefty, with nothing blurred
And Gargamel and Farmer Smurf when packing turds
I closed tab on Nat, dancing 'round a pole
And don't ask about Clumsy, under Vanity's hard control
In my mind there's still Lucky, he's with Monty in the air
Though I'd get to catch a bit Smurfette, and her affairs
And all this smut I tell you, was just not worth the surf
There's still no Kardashians with Smurfs!

Gay Smurfs popped at me, by rule 34
Gay Smurfs leave me be, I don't wanna know!

This search I deplore
(Gay Smurfs)
Found smutty cartooning
A search I deplore
(Gay Smurfs)
Much smutty cartooning
Don't wanna know
(Gay Smurfs)
'Bout Garfield and pussy
Won't look for toons no more
(Gay Smurfs)
So I'm going back to chicks
And the ewes I've got next door

© Peter Andersson 2018