Handstyles of the
master baiters

© PETER ANDERSSON

A MUSIC PARODY
BASED ON:
"LIFESTYLES OF THE
RICH AND FAMOUS"
BY: GOOD CHARLOTTE



BONUS QUOTE:
"You should never keep back good story ideas for a rainy day. If you continually use your best ideas then more quality ideas will come in to fill the gap afterwards."
A.E VAN VOGT
 
This is my first ever parody song about professional fishing, but I don't think I'll be hooked on and anchored to the subject, surfing their wet nets for words to use has taught me that the master baiters can be real jerks.
The original song and a video for it can be heard/seen HERE.

One hand calligraphy
Won't make the magazine
Cod Fishermen Handjob Quarterly

And a twisted carp-al bone
Will wave a puffer home
Squiggle about, how hard eels can be

Don't wanna see their grip go limp
Wringing essays over shrimp
And I've Nature™ on my side

And they can't ink a ray review
Writing up some type o' jackfish stew
I think they'd crab the marginal
Farcical

Handstyles of the masters of baiting
They're jerky and shaking
From the abrading
Their writing is such a wobble
And there's just trouble
With hands God dealt them

When they've trawled for shamu-ses they can't clasp a knife
And there's stiff cold fingering upon their wifes
And chalked up they'd shake the pink, to pen a salmon

And I've been told that they've callus from the bursting clam
They slosh in oysters as they're down a dam
They can never use a pen, but spray cans or a seal

Don't wanna read the manuscript
Closet Lobster Masochist
Or their Fishnet Stockings Guide
I'd rather sit in underoos
Bottled up here under my canoe
With fingerpaint on an atoll
Tropical

Handstyles of the masters of baiting
They're jerky and shaking
From draft to write in
They don't shell-f down at the bookstore
But scribble seashores
With bad graffitying

(ARRR! THIS BE THE PART WHERE JAWS ARE SUPPOSED TO DROP FROM A GUITARIST'S INDULGING IN SQUIDLIKE FINGERWORK - BUT ALAS, THE MATEYS COULDN'T WRITE THAT SORT OF TUNA)

Handstyles of the masters of baiting
They're jerky and shaking
That is my weigh-in
They're stroking like blowing tightwads
And their blotting of whale squads
Should anger Neptune

Handstyles of the masters of baiting
Will shake out prose with hands on deck
I'll be abstaining

Handstyles of the master baiters
Handstyles of the master baiters
Handstyles of the master baiters



© Peter Andersson 2017

   

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