Handstyles of the master baiters © PETER ANDERSSON A MUSIC PARODY BASED ON: "LIFESTYLES OF THE RICH AND FAMOUS" BY: GOOD CHARLOTTE BONUS QUOTE: "You should never keep back good story ideas for a rainy day. If you continually use your best ideas then more quality ideas will come in to fill the gap afterwards." A.E VAN VOGT		This is my first ever parody song about professional fishing, but I don't think I'll be hooked on and anchored to the subject, surfing their wet nets for words to use has taught me that the master baiters can be real jerks. One hand calligraphy Won't make the magazine Cod Fishermen Handjob Quarterly And a twisted carp-al bone Will wave a puffer home Squiggle about, how hard eels can be Don't wanna see their grip go limp Wringing essays over shrimp And I've Nature™ on my side And they can't ink a ray review Writing up some type o' jackfish stew I think they'd crab the marginal Farcical Handstyles of the masters of baiting They're jerky and shaking From the abrading Their writing is such a wobble And there's just trouble With hands God dealt them When they've trawled for shamu-ses they can't clasp a knife And there's stiff cold fingering upon their wifes And chalked up they'd shake the pink, to pen a salmon And I've been told that they've callus from the bursting clam They slosh in oysters as they're down a dam They can never use a pen, but spray cans or a seal Don't wanna read the manuscript Closet Lobster Masochist Or their Fishnet Stockings Guide I'd rather sit in underoos Bottled up here under my canoe With fingerpaint on an atoll Tropical Handstyles of the masters of baiting They're jerky and shaking From draft to write in They don't shell-f down at the bookstore But scribble seashores With bad graffitying (ARRR! THIS BE THE PART WHERE JAWS ARE SUPPOSED TO DROP FROM A GUITARIST'S INDULGING IN SQUIDLIKE FINGERWORK - BUT ALAS, THE MATEYS COULDN'T WRITE THAT SORT OF TUNA) Handstyles of the masters of baiting They're jerky and shaking That is my weigh-in They're stroking like blowing tightwads And their blotting of whale squads Should anger Neptune Handstyles of the masters of baiting Will shake out prose with hands on deck I'll be abstaining Handstyles of the master baiters Handstyles of the master baiters Handstyles of the master baiters © Peter Andersson 2017
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