Homely sty


"My idea of housework
is to sweep the room
with a glance."

Some call it a disgrace, some call it an abomination and
some call the authorities - but me, I just call it home.

Dirty, rotten, filthy, stinking

It's my homely sty
I wouldn't put it up at any price
Stench's so bad that my mama cries
My homely sty...

Bottles on the front porch, garbage on the lawn
Moldy croissants in the kitchen of my home
Vultures on the roof and one dead from a goof
Stash up in the cupboard, mine, no proof, heh

Scrapheap in the living room's crapper for the pigeons
Nincompoops say it smells, just a smidgen
Chilling in here was too cold, it was a freezer
So I light up a trash can, fixed me a heater

Latrine, sunscreen and canned bean porridge
Oversupplied Gauze from dumpster forage

It's my homely sty
Don't drink the water here or pay the price
It's so bad that it will kill you twice
My homely sty

I'm a hairy guy
With a cool hiding place, leeward side
Go out back, have the boar pushed aside
His homely sty

Cardboards from my chums, take-outs from the bar
Hubcaps that I stole from a copper's parked car
Ain't no TV, ain't got no lass
But a basement for hoin' and they pay with grass

Ice cream, wet dream and umpteen o' smear
Dirtbags an' flies an' some fungal root beer

I'm a yucky guy
Don't pet the snake of mine or touch the mice
Crib was cheap, under market price
Bought on the fly

Oh yeah, neither fib or lie
It's a bodge job disgrace known for miles
Built by woods that were first cast aside
My homely sty, yeah
Sty, yeah

All along

This' my confessional

Moonshine in the bathtub, termites in the floor
Woodchucks in the attic, forgot to lock the door
Built in the ghetto, near a hardcore store
But I am not allowed through its front door no more

I've my homely sty
Darts in a fuse board makes the light suffice
It's my pad and I'll improvise
My homely sty, yeah

Cockroach' suicide
Where a broom and my fists can't coincide
Chances are that a pig first would fly
My homely sty
My homely sty

-Mom... clean it!

© Peter Andersson 2012