If Im gonna be your lover you gotta get rid
those kids

© PETER ANDERSSON

A MUSIC PARODY
BASED ON:
"WANNABE"
BY: SPICE GIRLS



BONUS QUOTE:
"Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is like another nail."
DAN CASTELLANETA
 
Nuclear family living in the suburbs? No thanks! Not Me! All writers worthy the ink in their pencils are bound to pursue less common, purely unorthodox and hopefully at least in the long run more interesting ways to let their brains rot away. And that goes double for someone else's kids.

ME:
You, I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want
SINGLE MOM:
So tell me what you feel, what you really, really feel
ME:
I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want
SINGLE MOM:
So tell me what you feel, what you really, really feel
ME:
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna Nelly, Sally, Molly and that Sigismund gone

ME:
If you want my body, forget your Dash
If you wanna be with me, better kick out Nash
Now don't keep nurture, Dharma and Kain
Kick them out with Ellen, or my love's in vain

ME:
I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want
SINGLE MOM:
So tell me what you feel, what you really, really feel
ME:
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna Lennie, Winnie, Minnie and Lucretia gone

ME:
If I'm gonna be your lover, you gotta get rid those kids
Make away forever, pampers full of skids
If I'm gonna be your lover, kick them out the gate
Leavin' isn't easy, but now's the time for Kate

ME:
What do you think about that, now you know how I feel?
SINGLE MOM:
Say can you handle real love, are you for real?
ME:
I won't be nasty, I'll make your day!
SINGLE MOM:
Man you start to bug me, now I'll have my say!

SINGLE MOM:
I'll tell you how I feel, how I really, really feel
ME:
So tell me what you want, what you really, really want
SINGLE MOM:
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, really, really, really wanna run away, but...

SINGLE MOM:
If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my kids
Leeching is forever, pampers come with skids
If you wanna be my lover, you have got to cave
Manhood isn't easy and neither is my Dave

SINGLE MOM:
So there's a bunch from Abe to Zeb
You wanna get with me you gotta learn to handle Jeb
I got Bill on the floor, who's crawling for the door
I got Gina-Marie'n'Ike'n'Britt'n'Emily haven't learned the loo
(she's a lot ado)
And as for you, ha-ha, meet Sue

(SINGLE MOM PATS THE LOWER PART OF HER STOMACH AND KEEPS SINGING):

Wipe your snooty clean, and take it like a man
You slammed a booty queen, now take it like a man

SINGLE MOM:
You are gonna be my husband, Shotgun Dad's my friend
This time it's forever, marriage without bends
You are gonna be my husband, run to get a job
You won't get it easy, but that's my plan for Rob

(FINAL CHORUS CONSISTS OF BOTH PARTIES SIMULTANEOUSLY AND INCREASINGLY RAISING THEIR VOICES WHILE REPEATING PREVIOUS ARGUMENTS BEFORE THEY FINALLY BREAK UP)



© Peter Andersson 2003

   

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