Living on Tomteskum © PETER ANDERSSON A MUSIC PARODY BASED ON: "LIVING IN PARADISE" BY: DAVID LEE ROTH BONUS QUOTE: "I actually tried to grow my own food but I can't find any Twinkie seeds." CRAIG FERGUSON		Tomteskum is a classic Swedish Christmas candy with mystical and mythical powers, especially the pink variety. It's commonly believed to cure everything from gloom to dandruff, from obesophobia to obnoxiousness, from diarrhoea to logorrhea, from impetigo to impotence, from gout to evil eye, from flatulence to flat tires, from... well, you get the idea. Here's a song about it! The original song and a video for it can be heard/seen HERE. Eating regular while Christmas' far Some days it's paleo, others Yankie Bars But not outright (Not outright) I got my fridge and my casserole I'm down with a rind, up to crack some yolk at night (But not outright) Milk, I've been hit with since the cows came home (Since cows came home) No Pablum more, this time of year I'm gearing up to food-conform This Yule I'm all out living on Tomteskum (Just on Tomteskum) And I don't want no more ham (Taste like sewer, to and fro) This Yule my motto's gonna be skum or bust And I don't want no more yam easy-peasy, for this diet I'll vow It got naught to improve It makes me clean my carte out daily Including beer, you see A special flavour, hook you in a flash Can't save for later, I'm not talking balderdash No shit, no shit Some foods make feelings come or feelings go (And some adds weight) But Tomteskum's enough for me Just take a bite and you're hooked too This Yule I'm all out living on Tomteskum (I'm stuck on Tomteskum) And I don't want no more rum (And I ain't ever been this calm) This Yule I won't be choking on Lutefisk (Just on, just on Tomteskum) And I'll assure it's no sham (AND HERE'S THE FINGERLICKING SOLO) My hands are pink all over from Tomteskum (From Tomteskum, Tomteskum) As I am tryna get crammed (While I duck, I duck mistletoes) My jolly beer gut might be from Tomteskum (I've kinda gone for broke) But I will bear down if jammed (From the Tomteskum, from the Tomteskum) Last month I robbed a truck full of Tomteskum (Full of Tomteskum) I guess now Santa won't come ('cept for Tomteskum, 'cept for Tomteskum) This Yule my basement's filled up with Tomteskum © Peter Andersson 2016
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