No more Mister Jedi © PETER ANDERSSON A MUSIC PARODY BASED ON: "NO MORE MISTER NICE GUY" BY: MEGADETH BONUS QUOTE: "From a certain point onward there is no longer any turning back. That is the point that must be reached." FRANZ KAFKA		Hollywood sagas of heroism have plot holes the size of planets. Thank Gawd! How else would we find that extra force to make parody of them. As for Star Wars I can’t stop wondering why, for ten years, no-one on the Jedi Council thought of taking the just a few days long trip back to Tatooine to BUY Anakin’s mother Shmi Skywalker out of slavery. It wasn’t as if Watto was loaded with moolah and would have been able to resist a generous offer (or the threat of a light saber colonoscopy). No, instead they left a kid they knew from day one was a few gyros short of a restored balance to his own Midiclorians, a fumbling mentor trained by the only Jedi in a thousand years to lose a man-to-man combat with a Sith, and what they regarded as a suitable upbringing just within spitting distance from the best and worst among the warmonging pros and cons in the Galaxy Senate! No wonder Anakin ended up as a Dark Side Gangbanger doing Death Star Drive-Bys. No more Mister Jedi Me, a Jedi, Yeah Right! I used to be such a Dudley Do-Right ’Til Siths got hold of me I opened doors for little old Yoda I helped Naboo be free I’ve got no friends and a real bad draper You can't be seen with me And I’m havin’ such a frown ’cos I’ve lost a queen No more Mister Jedi No more little Ana-ke-en No more Mister Jedi (He’s Sith, He’s like Pal-pa-tine) I’m not the chosen one no more, Ha - I’m impossible I’ve got no friends ’cos they’re all now vapor They can't be forced no more And I’m gettin’ bad renown, and I’m half machine No more Mister Jedi No more little Ana-ke-en No more Mister Jedi (He’s Sith, He’s like Pal-pa-tine) R2 sparked me on the leg today I did choke out my wife Yoda’s been thrown out of the acad’my, lurkin’ My kids they did hide I went back home incognito And everybody died The emp’ror Sith he vitalized me Bunched me I suppose He said: No more - Jedi! No more Mister Jedi No more little Ana-ke-en No more Mister Jedi (He’s Sith, He’s like Pal-pa-tine) No more Mister Jedi No more little Ana-ke-en No more Mister Jedi (He’s Sith, He’s like Pal-pa-tine) Naturally, I was never nice in the first place, although… Aaargh! © Peter Andersson 2005
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