Philomaths © PETER ANDERSSON A MUSIC PARODY BASED ON: "YOUTH GONE WILD" BY: SKID ROW BONUS QUOTE: "At one point in my haste to improve myself, I mixed up the telephone numbers of the Shick Center for Control of Smoking and the Evelyn Woods Speed Reading School. As a result, I can now smoke up to 300 cigarettes a minute, but I gave up reading." GEORGE CARLIN		The original song here has one of the best sing-along choruses ever, I could write parody lines for it all day, and the whole thing would probably be a parody standard if the rest of it wasn't such an incongruent paced beeatch to work with, hence this parody is sort of a compromise, what could be done with the verses dictated the angle (it ended up being an antithesis of the original) that was then milked as easy as a paralyzed, tipped over and udderly chuck-full cow in the choruses. As for a philomath the word is defined as a lover of learning, not to be confused with a polymath, one who already knows a helluva lot. (I had to look them both up so I guess I'm more of the former than the latter). Since we were born jocks came to flush us down A bunch of prodigies an' crew of water-combed clowns Never played in no sports and we're never getting laid But nerdy reputations still will get us A'd No looks, but Gee! What's that to grief? A worthy four eyes thinks IRL's bland And we're the smart, we raise our hands We have some nerdy looks We keep our snouts in books We're causing folks to laugh We are the philomaths We're ruling spelling bees We know that carpe's "seize" We're calculating graphs We are the philomaths Jocks' screaming in our ears and they always start to fuss Get some three feet off them and then they would look just like us We think: Hey dork, there's something you oughta know I tell you po-ta-to is spelled with two o's We flee each day, and everyone sees We're getting wedged, for now it's a drought But we're the smart, we're getting out! We're on a course to Yale Where we will get some tail We're on a Harvard path We are the philomaths We are the teacher's pets For now the gal we get Maybe we need a bath We are the philomaths -Let me hear you recite Pi! We're speaking fluent greek And the odd wrist is weak From holding atom halves We are the philomaths We sure don't get the drips We're getting scholarships We never learn enough We are the philomaths (Repeat last line x 4) © Peter Andersson 2007
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