"When Napoleon called England a nation of shopkeepers it was like calling them a nation of pimps. It has taken about twenty-five centuries for intermediaries to be appreciated."
The pimps they are a-changing and above all I blame MTV, once "pimp" was a purely negative word, then came "MTV Raps" and "Pimp my ride", that was the beginning of the end of how it used to be, from there on it just pimply swooshed down into crater faced everyday use, culminating with the Nike ad campaign "Pimp your shoes" that was run on every street corner, a past years track to Hell speed alert sign we have all travelled past since because it seems that anyone can pimp or get pimped now; dandruff shampoo plastic bottle makers are pimping their appearance, sports managers are using steroids to pimp their athletes, animated cartoons with highbrow ambitions have Homer pimps on television and political campaign makers are pimping every blemishing young celebrity they can to fuck their opponents. Heck, even this intro is me pimping the following parody song!

Pimp - It's a musing expression
Pimp - And a global obsession
Pimp - It's a slick trick discov'ry
That when pimped up will shit start recov'ry

Pimp - Up your life and get carried
Pimp - Redact what is horrid
Pimp - Up your borderline trash mon
Take a butt fugly CD and bash on

Pimp - Up the lines that you write
Pimp - All original shite
Pimp - Up and boost what is trite
When you think that a write is an awful bore, don't pout
Good's in the details, work it out

You can't pimp too flamboyant
You'll look like a circus clairvoyant
Pimp just enough and it's stellar
If you pimp right 'tis a U-boast propeller

Pimp - All the songs in your life
Pimp - Up the blanks for your wife
Pimp - All the skids on the whites
When you're up in her thong she's going to get alight
Don't linger i.e - pimp that rite

You want a stuck words remover?
A writer's Heimlich Maneuver?
Then pimp up the ones that are Gorgons!
'Cos pimped lines are tasty as bon-bons!

Pimp - Up the songs that dates back
Pimp - Up the punch that you pack
Pimp - Up Fab Four and Get Back
And then sleep on the thing 'fore you spring a last rewrite
No matter where your Yoko's at

© Peter Andersson 2009