Santa avoids me © PETER ANDERSSON A MUSIC PARODY BASED ON: "JESUS HE KNOWS ME" BY: GENESIS BONUS QUOTE: "My main operating principle; don't take any shit from the zeitgeist." GEORGE CARLIN		Christmas preparations are underway... We know he's too fast for radar screens Crushin' light speed every Christmas If you're "bad" there's no reward That makes me mean He's all over all my next of kin That's the reason why I'm drinking They get a visit, ain't it nice He'd get a piece of me! He'll bring most everything to braindeads He will not bring ME even tweed I don't think it's jolly his laughter Me I know he's mean 'Cos Santa avoids me When he flies at night I've got nothing from Santa, all my life Oh yes, he 'voids me When I'm near his sight And he's been skipping me Every year, it ain't right I get back through this parody Gonna put this longing life behind me And I've made plans for all the reindeers Through a hitman good in-flight I'll get revenge through blood Unless you run off telling Yeah, this Yule I'll be a heathen Time has come tonight He won't even have to touch my house I am all soo prepared I've put mines under YOUR roofing tile So I can get him there 'Cos Santa avoids me When he flies at night I've got nothing from Santa, all my life Oh yes, he 'voids me When I'm near his sight And he's been irking me For years, it ain't right Don't tell my next of kins what I'm planning Ma's gonna tell me that it ain't nice That I've been gearing up to kick on his testicles And if I'll hit she's gonna hand him some ice Come sit near and hear me through You'd got what I've got you'd do what I'll do I'm getting no presents So I'll rip Nick's fancy dress Yes I'm getting mad 'nough, t' blow him away You won't find me on his nice-list 'Cos I'm gonna grill the reindeers And I'm gonna do it nonchalant Prancer'll make my day There'll be no sleigh left behind On the Elfs pepper I'll be spraying Rudolph's nose will be a phantom limb Just check YOUR sock when I'm done slaying 'Cos Santa avoids me When he flies at night I've got nothing from Santa, all my life Oh yes, he 'voids me When I'm near his sight And he's been skipping me Every year, it ain't right (REPEAT CHORUS UNTIL THE FAT MAN COMES) © Peter Andersson 2011
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