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Thingamajig guarantee (Fine print version) © PETER ANDERSSON A MUSIC PARODY BASED ON: "THIS IS ME" BY: THE GREATEST SHOWMAN BONUS QUOTE: "Every time you make a typo the errorists win." UNKNOWN |
It'll stand a mangler or a shark Pepperspray or clay And when your uncle's breaking farts The plastic casing's hard, might cause you scars No repay, we say For that as clumsy as you are And if you hold it when it self-combusts This here's a gag / no-selfie clause We hope it's superfluous If it's starting up when you've put it down If lost in a flood, stuck up in your snout You just waived, you approved All the fineprint in our key Guarantee Locked out and burned your thumb When it's mixing pics to your bae and mum We're not scared 'cos you see We've this f*ck 'em policy Guarantee Don't break the seal to all the stuff therein Hellfire and rays they will graze What will be left of your skin Don't go sharing buds, you'll get hearing aids And with bae one on one STAY EXTERIOR! Ay, low as you can come And if you get ebola from the crust Remember gag / no-selfie clause It's quite laborious If it's making noise like a rabid clown If it clogs your blood, shrink your member down You have waived, you've approved What our lawyers calls a "free" Guarantee Blacked out when near a nun That'll be pleasing both to your God and mum We'll take care, for a wee Extra triplet sixes fee Guarantee Guaranteed! For a final blow we've reserved the right Set Comic Sans default each night When this [PROPER NOUN] comes in two point oh We will send you spam, gonna let you know You have waived, you've approved We've your signing in our hoofs Guaranteed! *Manic laughter drowns out the last chorus* © Peter Andersson 2018 |
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