A MUSIC PARODY
(TO WEAR SUNSCREEN)"
BY: BAZ LUHRMANN
"A word is a bud attempting to become a twig. How can one not dream while writing? It is the pen which dreams. The blank page gives the right to dream."
This was my contribution to one of the rounds in a special competition over at www.amiright.com. It´s an attempt to capture the essence of this hobby that we all share over there.
Vogons and Wannabees on this site called AmiRight:
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, spoofing would be it. The long term fantasy in irony are yet to be falsified, and even short term mockery has a solid base and potential and a well documented humorous effect.
I will now expand this advice.
Enjoy the coolness and beauty of originals. Oh nevermind. There has not been any kind of coolness or beauty or originality since Baz Luhrmann. And trust me, in 20 years you´ll look back at photos of Wacko Jacko and shudder in a way you can´t grasp now over how much better he looked back then and how normal his kids looked in burqua. There´s not enough makeup in prison.
Don´t worry about your average. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to convert Al-Qaida from terrorism by showing them Pauly Shore movies. The real trouble with this hobby is to be funny without crossing the line to rude, to find those double entendres that cracks up even the hardest nuts.
Make one rhyme everyday, in public.
Don´t be demeaning to other peoples efforts, don´t put up with those who are demeaning to yours.
Don´t waste your time on quantity, sometimes you´re in flow, sometimes you´re just low. Don´t chase Will Tong, ´cos in the end, isn´t writing about the process?
Remember nice comments you receive, forget the insults. If you identify the 1 guy, tell us how!
Keep your old sketch books, reminisce your old vinyl albums.
Don´t feel lame if you don´t make the top 10 lists with your songs. The most interesting parodies are sometimes written to songs that has never been played live, some of the best to tracks as stillborn as Britney´s cover of "I love Rock & Roll".
Read plenty of magazines.
Be kind to the Stones, you´ll miss them when they´re gone.
Maybe you´ll have hits, maybe you won´t, maybe you´ll use rhymezone, maybe you won´t, maybe you´ll give up at 40, maybe you´ll do a Lambada version on your 75 parodies jubilee. Whatever you do, don´t underestimate yourself too much, or abate yourself ever. True humour is half crazy, so are every good writer.
Don´t store away your best ideas for a rainy day. If you continuously use your best ideas, new quality ideas will come in and fill the gap afterwards.
Sketch, even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own kitchen sink.
Read the veterans, even if you don´t follow them.
Do NOT write "Sk8er Boy" parodies, they will only make us fall asleep!
Get to know the oldies, you never know when they´ll be back as covers.
Be nice to the newbies, they are a reminder of your early days and the people most likely to appreciate a friendly comment.
Understand that bands come and go, just a few household names have managed to hold on. Work hard to learn to grasp the cultural and music style news, ´cos the older you get, the harder it will be for you to relate to teeny taste.
Chat with Michael Pacholek once, but quit before it makes you hard. Chat with Malcolm Higgins once, but quit before it makes HIM hard.
Ravel. (No, wait...)
Accept certain inevitable facts: Tong hates Bush, you´re up against Phil Alexander, Dubya-d-h, and even IebeiW15 has been around since you were still a dot in your fathers pencil, Lewinskygate made headlines, and Star Trek somewhat respected continuity.
Respect Al Yankovic!
Don´t expect anyone at all to support you. Maybe you are a reborn Shakespeare, maybe you have a genious muse, but you never know whether anyone will really care.
Do mess sooo much with rhyming, one day someone will reach fame for a rhyme to orange!
Be careful what singles you buy, but, be patient with those who supply them. Stores are a form of nostalgia, capitalism is a way of clinging the past onto the future, brushing it up, selling it over with new makeup and recycling tax value into your trust fund parody.
And trust me: That´s irony!
© Peter Andersson 2003