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I hereby announce my candidacy © PETER ANDERSSON A MUSIC PARODY BASED ON: "YESTERDAY" x 7 BY: THE BEATLES BONUS QUOTE: "We'll tax less, and spend more. Why, that's what you're voting for." PHIL ALEXANDER (FROM A PARODY OF HIS) |
Song of the Month of May 2005 Contest! Vote for me There's no limit what I'll do for thee Have a keg of beer's my policy Or two or three, just vote for me Vote for me Every man will get an intern free Every woman a pool boy trainee Or two or three, just vote for me If you tax too much you'll be free to bill Iran And for payments due I will draft your Repo Man Vote for me For the upper class I'll peg the tee For the homeless; a roof guarantee Or two or three, just vote for me If your TP's red, I'll clear out your haemorrhoids Endless cloudless days'll tan you close to leatheroid Vote for me All my statesmanship's a parody But that goes down with the bourgeoisie So gather up and vote for me VOTERS: Mm... mm... mm... mm... mMORE! ME: All Right! From the top again then! Vote for me I'll unclog your clogged up artery And I'll cut down Michael Jackson's tree All this and more, just vote for me Vote for me For the plumbers there'll be crack for free For the postal; stamped stability All this and more, just vote for me Male enhancement pills will be free, if you just vote (That one will be paid by per-click tax on remotes) Vote for me I will jerk up the economy I'll be hands on bad pornography All this and more, just vote for me Hear me wildlife friends; I'll send pandas to your lawns All your holy cows will be corporated fawns Vote for me I will outlaw Kmart queues for thee Bring the moon down, set the monkeys free So gather up and vote for me VOTERS: Mm... mm... mm... mm... MORE! ME: All Right! From the top again then! Vote for me There's no end to my capacity I’m pro-life, pro-choice, proactively All this and more, just vote for me Vote for me I'll destroy the ring of power-ty No more yellow cabs, just bravery All this and more, just vote for me I'll make donuts all pre-deductible to cops And send Hillary Duff to work, in a sweat-shop Vote for me Get a leg up, bribes and mp3s Where I banish kick-back factories All this and more, just vote for me For the comatosed I'll send vote-by-proxy aids For this needy world I'm a Jack, of all the trades Vote for me I'm a master of diplomacy "Send the French some Garlic-Frogleg Brie" Now gather up and vote for me VOTERS: Mm... mm... mm... MORE! MORE! ME: All Right! From the top again then! Vote for me I will play back crap on MTV Bone that freemason cum'raderie All this and more, just vote for me Vote for me I will rig your nestling's spellin' bee Let him ace and nerds come fortythri Po-ta-to-e, just vote for me If you hesitate, I can send, the M.I.B With some mutant freaks, to uplift, your E.E.G Vote for me I'll support a Utahn papacy Werewolf cults and Wiccan lunacy All this and more, just vote for me How to pay for this you'll find out within due course But as C.I.C I'll keep floggin' a dead horse Vote for me I'm as cool as Matrix (1, not 3) Were I cooler; order autopsy Now gather up and vote for me VOTERS: Mm... mm... MORE! MORE! MORE! ME: All Right! From the top again then! Vote for me I'll cure SARS and AIDS and leprosy I'll reverse your hysterectomy Just gather up, and vote for me Vote for me I'll deport that Shannon Doherty She's a threat to a community Or two or three, just vote for me She can cleanse a couch and take colour off a show If you vote for me I'll remove her, quid pro quo Vote for me Get a heavy trucking license free And a bitch who aced agility Or two or three, just vote for me Reps and Libs and Greens, for too long, have not been phat They're as dated as hicks or Paris Hilton's twat Vote for me I'm no Starbucks coffee latte-ry WYSIWYG is what you get from me Must I say more, now vote for me! VOTERS: Mm... MORE! MORE! MORE! MORE! ME: All Right! From the top again then! Vote for me I'll remove the tatts from Tommy Lee And from Pammy; Hepatitis C But not her Ds, so vote for me Vote for me I'll give Fab 5 colonoscopy With the Hubble in entirety And celery, so vote for me My opponents blow, they're a steaming pile of dung When they call me "ass” it's because I'm donkey hung Vote for me Get free pussy from the cattery Perignon at every beanery And cutlery, so vote for me All these promises, you must ask, are they legit? Hey Dude! Read my lips, would I lie, or you bespit? Vote for me I'm a klutz but I’m persistent, see I don't care if it's for champerty Just help me win, and vote for me VOTERS: MORE! MORE! MORE! MORE! MORE! ME: All Right! From the top again then! Vote for me I'm the best since John F Kennedy When it comes to demagoguery An'dultery, so vote for me Vote for me I'm as hard as Sean "Bond” Connery On my watch there'll be no World War 3 Just bobbery, so vote for me If you vote for me you'll get anything you want Sex, drugs, Rock & Roll, or my boring (wealthy) aunt Vote for me Get a square mile lunar property Smoke some ganja, miss a deputy Or two or three, just vote for me I'll beat street punks up and use sigh-lencers on mimes And on "Yesterday" paro-diiies; a tax on rhymes! Vote for me Get a million typists apery Paparazzing my debauchery All entrance free, just vote for me Mm... mm... mm... mm... mm... © Peter Andersson 2005 |
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