I want a pimped-up casting couch for Christmas © PETER ANDERSSON A MUSIC PARODY BASED ON: "I WANT A HIPPOPOTAMUS FOR CHRISTMAS" BONUS QUOTE: "Porn gives young people an unrealistic and unhealthy idea of how quickly a plumber will come to your house." UNKNOWN		My Christmas parody for 2015 was called I want the Necronomicon for Christmas. For 2016 I've decided that I need to sock it to the same original once more. This time the premise is that since every now and then someone comments that one of my parodies would be fun as a movie or a video, that's an idea I'd like to run with, at least as long as I myself get to be in control of the casting process - because of reasons. The original song and a video for it can be heard/seen HERE. I want a pimped-up casting couch for Christmas One that's free from yucky stains and goo Dude, that's my goal No stinky sock with coal I want a shiny backstage couch where actresses enroll I want a hardened casting couch for Christmas I don't like flaccid foam rubber and screws It comes to deduce When I'm on the caboose I don't wanna be done for Cos the back can't handle two You can send it to Heywood Ja'Bloeme That's my screen name - s'right! When I start to advertise Girls of every length and size Will gauge my shiny new couch standing there I want a pimped-up casting couch for Christmas Only stallion leather's gonna do No compromise No signs of yesterdays I do not like tacky sticky overlays And that's the way my actresses like me too Maybe a pillow for chafing butts but then Probably these actresses have veterinarians They'll go out on a limb For my Swedish massage I'll knead them there And deed them bare While filming a montage I'll be calling back to Gina Tingles That's a screen name - s'right! Full of toys and oversized And a beauty to my eyes I'll grab my brand new sofa from the rear I want a ballsy casting couch for Christmas Not one from IKEA without screws One for the miles Without orifices It needs to stand virgin marvelous-esses Delivered by Saint Nicholaus with a Ho! © Peter Andersson 2016
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